Life of Koban: Phillipines 2010

I woke up at 3:30am Korea time and skyped my mom. I figured I would get in one last conversation with her before I left for vacation to make sure she didn't miss me too much. Mom informed me that Grandpa had passed away just a few hours before. I didn't know how to react to this, should I cancel my vacation? Switch my ticket and fly straight to New York since I have the week off anyway right. I thought it is only money, but this is life, this is family. There is nothing that could be more important. I immediately hung up with my mom and searched online to see if I was able to switch my ticket, get a refund on my hotel, anything....Nothing. No refund for the hotel or the ticket. I took this as a sign and set off for the Phillipines. I went with two other teachers, but was in a different room from them, and a different flight. I felt more alone than ever. I felt I had made a huge mistake, i don't know these people. I had noone to turn to , to cry to or look to for a hug. I decided to release my mind for the first time and let God take over. If God didn't take over, than a higher power did. I felt it. I felt more free than I have ever in my life.
I am sure that being in the Phillipines was a big part of feeling so good, but I can say that it was so freeing not over analyzing anything or worrying about anything. I was glad my family was together. So I started to enjoy myself.
The sand was white, the water shallow for a mile from the beach, the water almost as warm as bath water and as clear as a fish tank. I don't think it gets much better than that. I always thought I would want to experience a place like that with a man. Someone I loved or would make me happy. It turns out that it is much more fulfilling to create the romance and experiences I want from a relationship myself, to decide my own happiness each day.

Along with my two Irish teachers I went with, we met up with another teacher and his Korean friend. It was the perfect mix of people. Perfect amount of laughter, talking, discussing, sharing, and silence. I was able to read a book "A painted house", and bond with the teachers I see everyday. When we are working it is hard to form friendships because each teacher is trying to keep their own sanity, and make it through the hardships of being a teacher and get out each night with a smile.
Phillipino people are beautiful. The women are gorgeous, and then men are dreamy. Not to mention how nice they are. My favorite part was that they always called you "mom" or "sir"...."massage mom?" =) And yes I did get a massage on the beach....for about 10$ I relaxed for an hour massage. Everything was perfect there. The drinks were cheap and fruity, the food was to die for (ate a little too much), and the weather was perfect. Perfect amount of sun, and perfect amount of rain. It rained one day which forced us to stay in the hotel restaurant (which was outside, just covered) and this then forced us to talk more and really create bonds between one another.
My favorite part of the trip was helmet diving. I was the first one down, and it was such a rush! I felt like I was in a fish tank. There was no one else down there for about 45 seconds, and being alone walking along the ocean floor was wild! More than anything I have ever done, I would say that is my favorite.
I must say, I am glad our family was able to come together and be there for grandma and everyone this past weekend. I am so sad for the family, for Grandma, dad, aunt laurie, aunt terry, and uncle doug. My love has been extended across this world to each of you. My prayers (though it is rare they are spoken) have all been for the strength of our family.

I will say one thing before I go to bed.....Family reunion summer of 2011!!! I am all in....as long as it is after July 18th =)
xoxo